![]() As a result, parents end up inadvertently helping the OCD, and when this backfires, often end up angry and frustrated with their children so that they are unable to offer support when needed the most.Īnother strategy, mentioned above, that also backfires is trying to will the thoughts or obsessions away. This generally leads to a whole lot of frustration particularly for parents who cannot understand why their rational responses just lead to more and more questions from their children. Because reassurance seeking and mental reviewing are both compulsive in nature, they don’t reduce anxiety long term…but, instead, actually feed the OCD. Bottom line is, compulsions don’t work long term. Compulsions do work (which is why people engage in them), but only temporarily until the doubt returns, leading to more compulsive behavior and increased fears over time. ![]() Compulsions are anything that one does either physically or mentally to get rid of the obsession and the anxiety associated with it. Obsessions are thoughts, images, or even just feelings that cause anxiety and are hard to get rid of. So, as we know OCD is comprised of an obsessive component as well as a compulsive component. In order to explain why these seemingly intuitive strategies don’t work, we need to understand conceptually how OCD works. These attempts, in fact, also tend to make things worse over time. What kids have generally figured out is that strategies such as trying to will these unwanted thoughts or images away as well as seeking reassurance from others do not work. In fact, it generally makes the symptoms worse over time. So, most parents (who have had any experience with these types of symptoms) have figured out that providing reassurance to their children does not work. Unfortunately, these types of symptoms are very often treated as generalized anxiety rather than as obsessive-compulsive and generally worsen as a result.īefore we talk about what appropriate treatment entails, let’s first talk about what doesn’t work. Also, if treated appropriately, they generally diminish fairly quickly. As a result, their daughter would no longer be alone with her Dad or their cat or dog and was starting to avoid being around boys at school all together.Īlthough these types of worries can be quite unsettling for both children and parents (and even pediatricians and many mental health professionals who are consulted), they are relatively common and easily recognizable OCD symptoms for experienced OCD therapists. More recently, I met with parents who were concerned about their 12–year-old daughter’s constant confessing and reassuring seeking about sexual thoughts/images she was having (e.g., having sex with Dad, having sex with boys at school, even having sex with their family pets!!!). But, that’s crazy, because I have a really happy life!!!” As a result of these fears, this young man had started to avoid being around any type of sharp object and was compulsively seeking reassurance from his parents. ![]() ![]() Every time I see a knife, I worry that I might, you know, do something to hurt myself. Some time ago, the most adorable and articulate 8-year-old boy walked into my office and proceeded to tell me, “ So you see, I am having these crazy thoughts.
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